Sure, you’ve gone out with 20, 30 ladies. But we’re willing to wager that you’re actually dating the same lady over and over again. “We often return to similar patterns, to familiar personalities and modes of interacting,” says the anthropologist Helen Fisher, a relationship expert and the author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. Not only does dating the same type of woman become a little boring, it doesn’t allow you to evolve.
But with our roster of classic womanly personalities as a guide, we’ll sort out what you like, why you may be stuck in that pattern, and what you could be missing out on—both romantically and sexually—by not mixing up your playlist.
1. The Urban Sophisticate
Her strengths: This woman is funny, hot, and spontaneous. When you walk into a room with her, everyone stares at you in envy. Neil Strauss, author of the best-selling dating memoir The Game, puts it simply, “This is the kind of girl everyone wants, and it makes you feel awesome when you’re the one who has her.”
Her weaknesses: “You need enormous confidence to date a woman like this,” Strauss says. “She gets off on attention, but you can’t get jealous.” If you’re independent, you’ll dig her ambition, but make sure she wants you—and not just the ego boost you provide.